The saga continues here…
Note: Again, I have mentally beaten myself senseless about my tackiness, so don’t you DARE start with me!
I get off the plane in San Francisco and I’m thinking to myself, Self, you amaze me! Look at you all the way in Cali-dang-fornia in one piece!
Yeeeeah… Nah. Not so much. Not at all if I’m being honest, and I am. Listen. I looked like a paranoid jumping spider speeding up, slowing down, looking over my shoulder, giving people the stank eye for making eye contact, ducking peoples coughs, suddenly throwing my back against the wall so people could come around me instead of walking behind me, stopping to stare at things I’ve never seen (like a WHOLE wine bar in the airport! WTH!), and being tired as a mofo from wearing inappropriate footwear while traveling. I probably LOOKED even worse than I felt by now. I don’t do 5Ks, but you could’ve put a paper number on my chest and counted me as a damn runner that day. I know I felt like one and YOU can’t take that from me. I’ll live my truth dangit.
The Bag Lady, That’s Me…
I made it to baggage claim and sat down QUICKLY. There was a guy walking in the direction of the only available seat and all I could think was if he sits there, I’m sitting my big behind on the floor today. I cannot anymore and I will not. Thank GOD I beat him to the chair and I audibly plopped down. I’m sure someone was somewhere judging my volume, but guess what, I was devoid of cares by then and I just wanted some rejuvenating water via IV.
I gave my life a second to slow down and wait for me care again, and, of course, something happens while I’m trying to convince myself to continue being a grown woman. These mofos switched our luggage to the carousel behind me after I put my life in danger for the damn chair with the perfect view. I made a real-life, real-time, adult decision at that very moment to stand up and turn around. Everything in my soul was telling me to leave that @&$! suitcase on the carousel and take a nap, but I powered through and made moves. (Celebrate with me please.)
I was tired. A concierge type dude grabbed my bag from the carousel after seeing me rushing in slow, awkward motions, making futile attempts to catch my suitcase as it spilled out from the feeding area. I made some weak, breathy kind of ”Ugh, oh, wait…” kind of noises and he took pity on my poor wretched soul. God bless that man for his ability to see my struggle.
I found the human receiver of our event and checked in. He rounded up a group of us and said, ”Follow me!” Right in front of us is the pickup/drop off area, but that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? This dude takes off with a serious speed walk, banks right and heads down some hallway off to the side. Immediately, I’m like, oh sh*t, I’m about to be an extra on an ID Channel story. Before I could start the cursory scan of my surroundings and everyone I could see and all the sounds in the background so that I could describe everything to the FBI after I hid out in the elevator shaft living off bugs and air conditioner condensation collected using my contact lenses as cups for a week…
I’m sorry… I literally lived out an episode of five different ID channel series’ and four movies in ten footsteps; I digress…
So before I could gather myself, this guy banks right and then hangs another left and we lose sight of him. “We” equates to me and a lady who couldn’t quite keep up because of an actual disability. I was just fat and tired.
We rediscover him in an alley of the airport where they’ve parked some of the most beautiful buses I’d ever seen (or maybe I was tired). I felt like I was suddenly affluent and beautiful. Why? Who knows, just stay with me… The bus driver took our bags and we went to have seats. Never have I ever felt a bus seat that felt like that specific bus seat felt to my old, busted, tired, swampy butt cheeks. Cottonelle cushions…
Reality Bites Hard, With Teeth
Sometimes you really need a reality check to reset your expectations in life. I am SPOILED. I admit it. I live with my husband and my children in a single family home. I don’t have to see people that are unfamiliar to me constantly. I don’t have to chase luggage or people I don’t know. Tonight, laying in bed with my little fur baby and my love slave of 10+ years, I am thankful and grateful for the life I live and the people I’m blessed to share it with.
I used to crave the life of the career woman, always catching flights, jet setting in pumps with a valuable purse and matching luggage in a pencil skirt and button down blouse with expensive sunglasses and a laptop bag. Let’s just say that I’ve managed to count my blessings and I ran out of fingers before the list of blessings was complete.
Don’t envy what you see others with. You may not be capable of handling the things that come with all they have.
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Weekly Whispers
So it’s being said that Jussie Smollet orchestrated his own beating. What do you think? I think it’s a mess either way.
A gunman opened fire at an Aurora, IL factory after meeting with HR and being terminated. I can’t even…
Colin Kapernick reached a settlement with the NFL. Even though there is a non-disclosure agreement, it’s estimated to be in the $60-80M range. Lemme get a dollar homey…
Do you know what a National Emergency REALLY means? If not, read this and educate yourself. Today.
Who The Kel? 
Welcome back baby.
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